She said it well here.
http://teachinginnyc.blogspot.com/2008/03/our-quality-has-been-reviewed.html
Quality reviews are a big show. Want to know how schools really are? Show up randomly. Talk to random kids, go in to random classrooms, and pick the parents you want to speak to. A great school would be okay with that.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
The old Jose is back.
His journey complicated to say the least...he came in 20 minutes early today so we could go over his individual behavior plan. "Do you think I'm a trouble maker?" he asked me.
I paused.
I remembered his actions in all the time I had known him, nearly 2 years now.
Forgive....forgive....forgive....
"I think you are a very good kid who sometimes makes bad choices," I said. "But we all make bad choices sometimes. But smart people learn from their bad choices and don't make them again," I said. "They also never hurt others on purpose."
"Sometimes I do that," he said in a way that made him seem so small and me so big.
"I know," I replied. "But today is a new day, and I believe that you can change."
We went on to have a conversation about the 4 schools he has been to this year, how none wanted him, and how he eventually ended up back at ours.
"We want you here," I said. "This is your classroom now," I said.
This child, who caused such havoc in my room last year, is now back, and it is now my job to make him feel more welcome than he has felt since September.
Forgive....forgive....forgive....
His journey complicated to say the least...he came in 20 minutes early today so we could go over his individual behavior plan. "Do you think I'm a trouble maker?" he asked me.
I paused.
I remembered his actions in all the time I had known him, nearly 2 years now.
Forgive....forgive....forgive....
"I think you are a very good kid who sometimes makes bad choices," I said. "But we all make bad choices sometimes. But smart people learn from their bad choices and don't make them again," I said. "They also never hurt others on purpose."
"Sometimes I do that," he said in a way that made him seem so small and me so big.
"I know," I replied. "But today is a new day, and I believe that you can change."
We went on to have a conversation about the 4 schools he has been to this year, how none wanted him, and how he eventually ended up back at ours.
"We want you here," I said. "This is your classroom now," I said.
This child, who caused such havoc in my room last year, is now back, and it is now my job to make him feel more welcome than he has felt since September.
Forgive....forgive....forgive....
Sunday, March 23, 2008
From the Mouths of Others
"At the end of the day, our story is just about kids. Real living, breathing, eating, drinking, sometimes loud, sometimes annoying, sometimes funny, always beautiful, always amazing kids."
-An excerpt from a letter we received from our SpEd Program Directors
-An excerpt from a letter we received from our SpEd Program Directors
Brief Update
The Old New One is still in the psych ward/mental institution...it's been over 2 weeks now.
Oy.
My New New One is such a character and a good influence on my room.
My second long term sub just got another job, so we go back to the 'different para every day' routine tomorrow. Time, once again, to band together.
3 months left.
To educate. Inspire. Teach. Learn.
Some days it still feels like just surviving.
Oy.
My New New One is such a character and a good influence on my room.
My second long term sub just got another job, so we go back to the 'different para every day' routine tomorrow. Time, once again, to band together.
3 months left.
To educate. Inspire. Teach. Learn.
Some days it still feels like just surviving.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
The New One is no longer the New One, for I got a new student on Monday. Jose, not to be confused with my old Jose, came to us with a smile and a stern warning from mom about not being on meds.
By the end of day 1 I was in love. Yeah, he's ADHD. It took me about 30 minutes to figure that out. But I've never had an ADHD kid who wasn't angry. Jose tells laffy taffy jokes. He says 'psych' about 50 times a day. And he asks 'trick questions', to which there are no answers. "That was a trick question," he says, "which means there isn't an answer, cause it's a trick, get it?"
I love him. He's little, genuine, and lightens the mood of my 13 year old, angry at the world because they're still in 4th grade classroom.
"Hey, this class is fun. We never did anything fun in my other class," he said today.
It's nice to have a kid appreciate differentiation :)
Meanwhile, the Old New One is in a psych ward, where he has been since Friday. He was taken away from his legal guardian by ACS. Keep him in your thoughts. He needs intense counseling, but we all know how those places can be. We're just hoping doesn't come back worse....
By the end of day 1 I was in love. Yeah, he's ADHD. It took me about 30 minutes to figure that out. But I've never had an ADHD kid who wasn't angry. Jose tells laffy taffy jokes. He says 'psych' about 50 times a day. And he asks 'trick questions', to which there are no answers. "That was a trick question," he says, "which means there isn't an answer, cause it's a trick, get it?"
I love him. He's little, genuine, and lightens the mood of my 13 year old, angry at the world because they're still in 4th grade classroom.
"Hey, this class is fun. We never did anything fun in my other class," he said today.
It's nice to have a kid appreciate differentiation :)
Meanwhile, the Old New One is in a psych ward, where he has been since Friday. He was taken away from his legal guardian by ACS. Keep him in your thoughts. He needs intense counseling, but we all know how those places can be. We're just hoping doesn't come back worse....
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
#2
The New One, who is not so new any more, but his placement so complicated that I will never use his name on this blog, received his second superintendent's suspension of the month today.
This is the most severe kind of suspension you can receive in NYC, and it involves being sent to another school.
This incident is for throwing a large rock at a class that was lined up to go to an assembly, then cursing out the teacher....but his rap sheet is such that any thing that goes in the system warrants a suspension.
Today he tore things off the door, banged on our windows, and screamed at us while kids were working in small groups. I told that principal, who replied, "that's him,".
I'm again left with the sacrificing one for 11 dilemma....but somewhere inside of me is a voice that knows that 1 is somebody's baby and a child that will someday grow up to become an adult who will remember everything we said and did to him.
This is the most severe kind of suspension you can receive in NYC, and it involves being sent to another school.
This incident is for throwing a large rock at a class that was lined up to go to an assembly, then cursing out the teacher....but his rap sheet is such that any thing that goes in the system warrants a suspension.
Today he tore things off the door, banged on our windows, and screamed at us while kids were working in small groups. I told that principal, who replied, "that's him,".
I'm again left with the sacrificing one for 11 dilemma....but somewhere inside of me is a voice that knows that 1 is somebody's baby and a child that will someday grow up to become an adult who will remember everything we said and did to him.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Today is March 1st
Which means that in 4 months, school will be over.
I am tired.
A kind of tired that sleep, or even a week off, does not fix.
In the past year and a half my kids have made incredible growth in reading. Some grew over 2 and a half years in 10 months.
We met grade level math standards with 87% mastery even though some didn't know the addition and subtraction sign when we started.
We took field trips to places my students had never seen and proved so many people wrong over...and over....and over again.
And Mario incited a riot and assaulted the principal of the other school in our building.
And Elvis's mom died.
And some of my kids went to more restrictive settings.
And at the end of the day I walk away heavier. Sometimes I carry books, sometimes their work to grade, other times just the weight of their lives, and my own, that was relocated half way across the country for this experience and most days still doesn't really fit here.
Nevertheless, a year and a half later, it has been a long journey, and I need to wake up and do something else in the morning. It's not even about leaving them anymore. I will never leave them, I just won't be their teacher anymore.
I am tired.
A kind of tired that sleep, or even a week off, does not fix.
In the past year and a half my kids have made incredible growth in reading. Some grew over 2 and a half years in 10 months.
We met grade level math standards with 87% mastery even though some didn't know the addition and subtraction sign when we started.
We took field trips to places my students had never seen and proved so many people wrong over...and over....and over again.
And Mario incited a riot and assaulted the principal of the other school in our building.
And Elvis's mom died.
And some of my kids went to more restrictive settings.
And at the end of the day I walk away heavier. Sometimes I carry books, sometimes their work to grade, other times just the weight of their lives, and my own, that was relocated half way across the country for this experience and most days still doesn't really fit here.
Nevertheless, a year and a half later, it has been a long journey, and I need to wake up and do something else in the morning. It's not even about leaving them anymore. I will never leave them, I just won't be their teacher anymore.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Sometimes I sit back in amazement at how comfortable everything has become. Them with me and me with them. Gone are the days of yelling and lecturing and even waiting for long periods of time for them to be quiet so I can teach.
With each day that passes we become more and more of a family. It's been almost 2 years now since I shook their hands for the first time and the relationship we have is so incredibly powerful, the expectations so much higher than they were months ago.
We are well on our way to meeting our class goals in reading and math. Kids applied to some of the best middle schools available to them and are excited about their future.
We're changing, all of us....
Somebody asked me the other day if I feel like I'm closing the gap. I told them no. My kids are.
With each day that passes we become more and more of a family. It's been almost 2 years now since I shook their hands for the first time and the relationship we have is so incredibly powerful, the expectations so much higher than they were months ago.
We are well on our way to meeting our class goals in reading and math. Kids applied to some of the best middle schools available to them and are excited about their future.
We're changing, all of us....
Somebody asked me the other day if I feel like I'm closing the gap. I told them no. My kids are.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Quotes of the Week
"The math journals really need to be more challenging. You're disgracing my mentality."
Malik to me
"It takes a smart guy, not a tough guy, to make change."
Yahkemp
*So profound, if you only knew his gang banger, tough guy, I don't care about anything attitude. He had refused to go to his weekly counseling session that day, so I requested that the counselor just stay in the room and observe - this came as a result of the conversation about why he was refusing to go. Today he was yelling and screaming at me. But yesterday.....he was profound :)
"I ate 'em at lunch. I made a good choice." "Finally."
Julius
And we all laughed. You see, Julius has this issue of sneaking chips, candy, juice...whatever....in his pockets. One day it was a piece of fried chicken - and he eats it throughout the day. I smell it, eventually take it away, and we have this whole big conversation about when would have been an appropriate time to have eaten the food.
So today he smelled like Doritos, and I patted him down (yes, I do search my kids, and take whatever I find.) Anyways...he got this big smile on his face.
"It's my breath," he said. "I ate 'em at lunch. I made a good choice....finally."
"Yo, but you got some kickin' breath!' said Adony from across the room.
"Yes, I do." said Julius.
But his breath I can not take, and for that, he smiled :)
Happy winter break to all of us. We certainly need it.
Malik to me
"It takes a smart guy, not a tough guy, to make change."
Yahkemp
*So profound, if you only knew his gang banger, tough guy, I don't care about anything attitude. He had refused to go to his weekly counseling session that day, so I requested that the counselor just stay in the room and observe - this came as a result of the conversation about why he was refusing to go. Today he was yelling and screaming at me. But yesterday.....he was profound :)
"I ate 'em at lunch. I made a good choice." "Finally."
Julius
And we all laughed. You see, Julius has this issue of sneaking chips, candy, juice...whatever....in his pockets. One day it was a piece of fried chicken - and he eats it throughout the day. I smell it, eventually take it away, and we have this whole big conversation about when would have been an appropriate time to have eaten the food.
So today he smelled like Doritos, and I patted him down (yes, I do search my kids, and take whatever I find.) Anyways...he got this big smile on his face.
"It's my breath," he said. "I ate 'em at lunch. I made a good choice....finally."
"Yo, but you got some kickin' breath!' said Adony from across the room.
"Yes, I do." said Julius.
But his breath I can not take, and for that, he smiled :)
Happy winter break to all of us. We certainly need it.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Show Me The Budget
The phrase, "there isn't money for that," has been the mantra this year, and in true 'our principal' fashion we got a memo in our box yesterday stating that today would be the last day of both our afterschool and Saturday school programs. They can't afford to pay the teachers for extended hours anymore.Rumor is that my para will be taken out of my room. She's a sub, and subs cost money. The money to hire a permanent one, when released from the state, was put somewhere else in the budget and is now long gone, I'm sure.So illegal not to have a para in a 12:1:1, especially when The New One just last week threatened to kill my para and said that we hit him in the face when in reality it was he who placed binder clips all over his face to make marks. I refuse to teach this child without another adult in the room - the danger is simply too high. That's why he's in a 12:1:1 in the first place.And this mysterious budget that is so often spoke about is never actually seen, nor are we told where the money actually does go. We just know that our bulletin boards, charts, and portfolios are to be perfect at all times, because that, folks, is public education in NYC.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Keepin' Focused
Kiddo's midlines, as promised :)
Adony's - Titled 'My Best Friend'
My best friend Elvis who I met the first time I came to this school. He was in my class. He paid for a school trip one time. On January 8, 2008, Yahkemp told me that Elvis's mother died in her sleep and Elvis was crying because he only had his mother. The one he loved. Ms. G told me to go to the bathroom and I cried and he did not get to say goodbye. She was a nice lady who cared about her son and we all loved her. She was like family and now my best friend is in the Dominican Republic looking at his mother's tombstone. I wish the best to his family. Rest in Peace Ms. America. We all miss you.
Malik's - Titled 'Should Kids Get Paid for Going to School - Yes or No?'
Should kids get paid yes because when kids go to school on the bus or they walk they risk their life going to school. And when we are in school in the cafeteria eating lunch it could be a fier and the firetrucks take too long. And a robber could act like he is somebodys dad or uncle. This is why kids should get paid.
If kids got paid we could by our own clothes, and a phone for emergency. So if we were to get kidnapped we will have a phone to call the cops. And our mothers would not have to take out of her money that she work hard for to buy us stuff. And the government know that they have th emoney and thats why I think kids should get paid.
Ken's - Titled 'Bruce Lee vs. Jackie Chan'
Introduction
Bruce Lee is a very good fighter. He just as strong as Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan has good moves and is a good athlete. Bruce Lee is also a good athlete. Bruce Lee usually use numchucks to fight. Jackie Chan sometimes uses broomsticks to hit bad guys hard. Jackie Chan is like a tiger and is fast like a cheetah. Bruce Lee moves quick like a dragon.
Story
One day Jackie Chan came up to Bruce Lee and said "Do you think you can beat me?" Bruce Lee said "Ha ha uh I am sure of that." Jack Chan said "Well well lets fight tomorrow at 10:00 o'clock in the morning." The next morning Bruce Lee was waiting in the park for Jackie Chan. He was dressed in black pants with a bandana. He had a pair of numchucks. Jackie Chan had got there at 9:58. He was dressed as a ninja with a sword.
The battle began at 10 o'clock. People were cheering for Bruce Lee because he was quick as a dragon. Bruce Lee hit Jackie Chan with the pair of numchucks 20 times in the face. Cops had to come even the ambulance. Bruce Lee won the fight. Jackie Chan been in the hospital for 3 years.
Adony's - Titled 'My Best Friend'
My best friend Elvis who I met the first time I came to this school. He was in my class. He paid for a school trip one time. On January 8, 2008, Yahkemp told me that Elvis's mother died in her sleep and Elvis was crying because he only had his mother. The one he loved. Ms. G told me to go to the bathroom and I cried and he did not get to say goodbye. She was a nice lady who cared about her son and we all loved her. She was like family and now my best friend is in the Dominican Republic looking at his mother's tombstone. I wish the best to his family. Rest in Peace Ms. America. We all miss you.
Malik's - Titled 'Should Kids Get Paid for Going to School - Yes or No?'
Should kids get paid yes because when kids go to school on the bus or they walk they risk their life going to school. And when we are in school in the cafeteria eating lunch it could be a fier and the firetrucks take too long. And a robber could act like he is somebodys dad or uncle. This is why kids should get paid.
If kids got paid we could by our own clothes, and a phone for emergency. So if we were to get kidnapped we will have a phone to call the cops. And our mothers would not have to take out of her money that she work hard for to buy us stuff. And the government know that they have th emoney and thats why I think kids should get paid.
Ken's - Titled 'Bruce Lee vs. Jackie Chan'
Introduction
Bruce Lee is a very good fighter. He just as strong as Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan has good moves and is a good athlete. Bruce Lee is also a good athlete. Bruce Lee usually use numchucks to fight. Jackie Chan sometimes uses broomsticks to hit bad guys hard. Jackie Chan is like a tiger and is fast like a cheetah. Bruce Lee moves quick like a dragon.
Story
One day Jackie Chan came up to Bruce Lee and said "Do you think you can beat me?" Bruce Lee said "Ha ha uh I am sure of that." Jack Chan said "Well well lets fight tomorrow at 10:00 o'clock in the morning." The next morning Bruce Lee was waiting in the park for Jackie Chan. He was dressed in black pants with a bandana. He had a pair of numchucks. Jackie Chan had got there at 9:58. He was dressed as a ninja with a sword.
The battle began at 10 o'clock. People were cheering for Bruce Lee because he was quick as a dragon. Bruce Lee hit Jackie Chan with the pair of numchucks 20 times in the face. Cops had to come even the ambulance. Bruce Lee won the fight. Jackie Chan been in the hospital for 3 years.
Friday, January 25, 2008
He greeted me with a smile. "Today is a new day," he declared.
"Yes, it is," I responded. My own words, the philosophies I've taught them, come back to haunt me when I'm so burnt out that I can't forgive them.
For their words, actions...can't forget the broken desk in the back of the room and posters that have been made numerous times because they chose to tear them down and all of the things that have been stolen since the new one arrived.
But I must. I must shake their hand and truly believe that today is a new day. For me, and for them....
But I'm human, and sometimes forgiveness is hard.
"Yes, it is," I responded. My own words, the philosophies I've taught them, come back to haunt me when I'm so burnt out that I can't forgive them.
For their words, actions...can't forget the broken desk in the back of the room and posters that have been made numerous times because they chose to tear them down and all of the things that have been stolen since the new one arrived.
But I must. I must shake their hand and truly believe that today is a new day. For me, and for them....
But I'm human, and sometimes forgiveness is hard.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Today Malik threw a desk 7 feet across the room. It broke. His books went flying everywhere.
Chris continued singing Spider Pig, and Yahkemp freaked out because I didn't believe that someone spit on him (his justification for punching them, although there was no spit anywhere on him and none of his friends saw it...hhmm...) His stepfather came, took my side of the argument, and then he yelled that he didn't love his stepfather anymore.
If these kids have taught me anything it's that forgiveness is necessary.
He was back in my room 30 minutes later.
But two other kids at my school were taken to the psych ward and one was arrested, so maybe we're not doing so bad.
Oh how the expectations have changed....
Chris continued singing Spider Pig, and Yahkemp freaked out because I didn't believe that someone spit on him (his justification for punching them, although there was no spit anywhere on him and none of his friends saw it...hhmm...) His stepfather came, took my side of the argument, and then he yelled that he didn't love his stepfather anymore.
If these kids have taught me anything it's that forgiveness is necessary.
He was back in my room 30 minutes later.
But two other kids at my school were taken to the psych ward and one was arrested, so maybe we're not doing so bad.
Oh how the expectations have changed....
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
It's that time of year, when the 'important people' come in and review our school and give us our grade.
My principal is ALL ABOUT this. Most are, but mine, this is all he cares about - this and test scores, mostly because the 'important people' care about test scores too.
I wonder if they care that one of my kids' mom's died or that Yahkemp had a fire at his house or that another one of my kids hasn't had his meds since November and is slowly deteriorating before our eyes but there's really nothing we can do.
Actually, they don't care.
As long as my bulletin boards and portfolios and charts are perfect.
So that's what I spend time doing. Bulletin boards and portfolios and charts.
But I also spend time consoling and teaching and coaxing him to just stop singing the Spider Pig song.
In the midst of all of this we're doing an AMAZING fairy tales unit. I'll post some of their work here soon, when the craziness is over.
But for now....Miss G is exhausted, for all the wrong reasons.
My principal is ALL ABOUT this. Most are, but mine, this is all he cares about - this and test scores, mostly because the 'important people' care about test scores too.
I wonder if they care that one of my kids' mom's died or that Yahkemp had a fire at his house or that another one of my kids hasn't had his meds since November and is slowly deteriorating before our eyes but there's really nothing we can do.
Actually, they don't care.
As long as my bulletin boards and portfolios and charts are perfect.
So that's what I spend time doing. Bulletin boards and portfolios and charts.
But I also spend time consoling and teaching and coaxing him to just stop singing the Spider Pig song.
In the midst of all of this we're doing an AMAZING fairy tales unit. I'll post some of their work here soon, when the craziness is over.
But for now....Miss G is exhausted, for all the wrong reasons.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Yesterday was my birthday and my kids made a HUGE deal of it. They told just about everyone in the school and threw me a big surprise birthday party during lunch. I still can't get over the fact that none of them accidentally told me in the days leading up to the party...and that they were actually able to organize something like this. Mind you, these are kids that need help remembering to turn in homework and that lose their pencils numerous times per hour.
We had pizzas, 15 bags of chips, and an ice cream cake....music, and lots of stories about days past. I told them it was one of the best birthday parties I'd ever had, and I meant it.
And then I spent the bus ride home wondering how I could ever just walk away from them...
Friday, January 11, 2008
This week was the week where true colors were exposed.
Tuesday there was a fatal drive by in front of our school. A 14 year old (not from our school) was killed. This is the third school on the same block as my school in 2 months. This kind of violence is abnormal for this neighborhood and I sense in myself and my kids a hesitation that wasn't there before....things that were automatic before now require thought.
We had incredible conversations about bullying, racism, gangs, and death. My kids have grown so much in the last year and a half, and so have I.
As I continue to interview for jobs for next year I become increasingly okay with the thought of leaving them. They will always be mine - the bond we made can not be broken with physical distance. Elvis's departure showed us that.
"I was so moved by how your kids hugged him," remarked another teacher.
"They're tight," I said. "You have to remember, these kids have been together for a long time. They don't shuffle classes every year like most kids."
"And they hung on every word you said. They didn't want a counselor or (my principal)...they wanted to know what you had to say. That's so different from most kids." she added.
They fight with each other, but when push comes to shove, the bond that we have as a class is pretty hard to break. Our true colors showed this week and I have to admit - I was proud to call myself their teacher.
Tuesday there was a fatal drive by in front of our school. A 14 year old (not from our school) was killed. This is the third school on the same block as my school in 2 months. This kind of violence is abnormal for this neighborhood and I sense in myself and my kids a hesitation that wasn't there before....things that were automatic before now require thought.
We had incredible conversations about bullying, racism, gangs, and death. My kids have grown so much in the last year and a half, and so have I.
As I continue to interview for jobs for next year I become increasingly okay with the thought of leaving them. They will always be mine - the bond we made can not be broken with physical distance. Elvis's departure showed us that.
"I was so moved by how your kids hugged him," remarked another teacher.
"They're tight," I said. "You have to remember, these kids have been together for a long time. They don't shuffle classes every year like most kids."
"And they hung on every word you said. They didn't want a counselor or (my principal)...they wanted to know what you had to say. That's so different from most kids." she added.
They fight with each other, but when push comes to shove, the bond that we have as a class is pretty hard to break. Our true colors showed this week and I have to admit - I was proud to call myself their teacher.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Adony never came back after the break, which meant 4 straight absences in a row. While he's definitely not my perfect attendance student, 4 in a row is rediculous even for him, so I asked a couple of the aides to go check on him. (It's city policy in NYC that if you miss 3 in a row someone from the school goes to your house - this doesn't usually happen. You have to make friends with people that live in the neighborhood if you want to keep track of kids...)
They went to his house and who walked in this morning but a bruised, swollen, black eyed Adony. Upon his return from winter break, he was jumped by 6 gang members on the way to school. What we saw today were the wounds time hadn't healed. The gang member part is important here because I've always been suspicious of Adony himself (but never been able to prove anything, nor have I wanted to.) Luckily he was not badly hurt.
The scary thing is it happened only a block from our school, about 15 minutes before school starts, and no one stopped to help. He is also not scared, but angry. My kids responded with a spirit of retaliation, even though the students who jumped him were much larger and older than any of my students. It is a constant effort to change this mindset - this cycle of violence that seems to be all my students understand as right.
I'm so frustrated. With the setbacks. With not knowing that my kids are safe when they leave school. With the fact that I can't put them in a little bubble and protect them because right now I really really want to.
They went to his house and who walked in this morning but a bruised, swollen, black eyed Adony. Upon his return from winter break, he was jumped by 6 gang members on the way to school. What we saw today were the wounds time hadn't healed. The gang member part is important here because I've always been suspicious of Adony himself (but never been able to prove anything, nor have I wanted to.) Luckily he was not badly hurt.
The scary thing is it happened only a block from our school, about 15 minutes before school starts, and no one stopped to help. He is also not scared, but angry. My kids responded with a spirit of retaliation, even though the students who jumped him were much larger and older than any of my students. It is a constant effort to change this mindset - this cycle of violence that seems to be all my students understand as right.
I'm so frustrated. With the setbacks. With not knowing that my kids are safe when they leave school. With the fact that I can't put them in a little bubble and protect them because right now I really really want to.
Monday, January 07, 2008
Yesterday Elvis's mom died of a sudden stroke. 39 years old.
He returned from a visit to his father's house to find her dead. Upon finding out, his step father, who has lived with them since Elvis was 2, had a massive heart attack and is currently in ICU.
He was discharged at the end the day today. We had made him cards and wrote letters.
"Can I take the test with you?" he asked. "I don't want to take it in a new school."
That's what he was concerned about - the test.
But he will not take it with me. I will probably never see him again.
In a day a child I've spent the last year and a half bonding with, teaching, at times agonizing over, is now gone. For good.
My kids cried today when he left. So did I....out of sadness, but more out of fear for what his life was going to be like.
This is why the work we do is so important. When he came to me he could not read or write his name. He now reads on a 3rd grade level, is on grade level in math, and is a very creative writer.
Everyday that we have with our kids might be the last. Tomorrow I teach with a new sense of urgency.
He returned from a visit to his father's house to find her dead. Upon finding out, his step father, who has lived with them since Elvis was 2, had a massive heart attack and is currently in ICU.
He was discharged at the end the day today. We had made him cards and wrote letters.
"Can I take the test with you?" he asked. "I don't want to take it in a new school."
That's what he was concerned about - the test.
But he will not take it with me. I will probably never see him again.
In a day a child I've spent the last year and a half bonding with, teaching, at times agonizing over, is now gone. For good.
My kids cried today when he left. So did I....out of sadness, but more out of fear for what his life was going to be like.
This is why the work we do is so important. When he came to me he could not read or write his name. He now reads on a 3rd grade level, is on grade level in math, and is a very creative writer.
Everyday that we have with our kids might be the last. Tomorrow I teach with a new sense of urgency.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
"I'm not calling for a second chance
I'm screaming at the top of my voice
Give me reason, but don't give me choice
Cause I'll just make the same mistake again."
James Blunt
The not so new one called kids names so horrible I will not type, or hint, at them in a public forum, nor would I repeat them to my mother on the phone. He also rocked back and forth in his chair, chanting, "I'm gonna kill some one," over and over again. When no one responded, he said it louder, and when still no one responded he stood up on his chair and screamed, "I'M GONNA KILL SOME ONE!!!" Security entered the room, having been called by another teacher. Amazing, the few times I've called they've never come.
He was removed and my kids sat, stunned.
"I feel like I'm on that show where they arrest people and they put it on tv and then it's a show," said Joshua. "If I was on that show, I would give people my autograph."
I thanked my kids for ignoring him - we'd had a class meeting earlier about how sometimes, when things are going on at home or inside of you, you say and do things that you don't mean and that the best thing we can do for him and ourselves as a class is ignore him and help him when he expresses a need for help. Since that meeting my kids had been beyond amazing. His pencil fell on the floor, 3 of them raced to pick it up. He needed a piece of paper, 2 of them were ripping one out of their notebooks. These were kids that were ready to rip him to pieces 30 minutes before....
And then, somehow, they all went back to work, and so did I, and eventually, the new one came back as if nothing had ever happened.
I can't imagine growing up in a world, or being educated in a classroom, with peers who say (and feel) such intense anger and hopelessness.
I'm screaming at the top of my voice
Give me reason, but don't give me choice
Cause I'll just make the same mistake again."
James Blunt
The not so new one called kids names so horrible I will not type, or hint, at them in a public forum, nor would I repeat them to my mother on the phone. He also rocked back and forth in his chair, chanting, "I'm gonna kill some one," over and over again. When no one responded, he said it louder, and when still no one responded he stood up on his chair and screamed, "I'M GONNA KILL SOME ONE!!!" Security entered the room, having been called by another teacher. Amazing, the few times I've called they've never come.
He was removed and my kids sat, stunned.
"I feel like I'm on that show where they arrest people and they put it on tv and then it's a show," said Joshua. "If I was on that show, I would give people my autograph."
I thanked my kids for ignoring him - we'd had a class meeting earlier about how sometimes, when things are going on at home or inside of you, you say and do things that you don't mean and that the best thing we can do for him and ourselves as a class is ignore him and help him when he expresses a need for help. Since that meeting my kids had been beyond amazing. His pencil fell on the floor, 3 of them raced to pick it up. He needed a piece of paper, 2 of them were ripping one out of their notebooks. These were kids that were ready to rip him to pieces 30 minutes before....
And then, somehow, they all went back to work, and so did I, and eventually, the new one came back as if nothing had ever happened.
I can't imagine growing up in a world, or being educated in a classroom, with peers who say (and feel) such intense anger and hopelessness.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
The New One
My not so new new kid has been wreaking havoc on my classroom.
Transitions are hard for him, and he has been bounced around from classroom to classroom for 2 years now, so I've definitely been holding his hand through the last month of getting used to instruction in my room.
But each morning gets worse, and the days less productive, so finally today I told him he would not be allowed back in to my classroom without a parent conference.
After spending the day in suspension, his foster parent was at my door when we dismissed.
At what point is the environment not right for the child because it is not right for the rest of the children?
Maybe a 12:1:1 would work for him somewhere else, but because of his history here, the dynamic in this room, with these students, does not work.
He needs consistency, and our school has given him nothing but inconsistency, and with new paras every day, my room is not as predictable as he needs it to be.
We must figure out a way to lead this kid to success....starting with tomorrow.
Transitions are hard for him, and he has been bounced around from classroom to classroom for 2 years now, so I've definitely been holding his hand through the last month of getting used to instruction in my room.
But each morning gets worse, and the days less productive, so finally today I told him he would not be allowed back in to my classroom without a parent conference.
After spending the day in suspension, his foster parent was at my door when we dismissed.
At what point is the environment not right for the child because it is not right for the rest of the children?
Maybe a 12:1:1 would work for him somewhere else, but because of his history here, the dynamic in this room, with these students, does not work.
He needs consistency, and our school has given him nothing but inconsistency, and with new paras every day, my room is not as predictable as he needs it to be.
We must figure out a way to lead this kid to success....starting with tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)