I LOVE my new job. I love my colleagues, the kids I work with, the parents - I work in a strong school with a good community of people around me and FINALLY feel like what I do everyday actually closes the achievement gap.
But I still think about them - my old kids - all of the time. When I say all of the time, I mean at LEAST daily. I regret that I wasn't there to make them cakes on their birthdays, mediate their fights, prepare them for the state test, and see them walk across the stage at their 5th grade graduation. I still get random texts from them asking if I'll come back, or if I could teach at their middle school. It pains me so much every time I type the word 'no'. I vow to stay in touch, but we both know that this isn't enough. They need someone everyday to believe in them - to push them.
I left because I knew there would always be more kids - another reason to stay in a school where I wasn't supported professionally or personally.
So why, after so long, do I still feel like I should have stayed?
Like the kids at my new school would be okay without me, but there are 13 kids in the Bronx who are not okay because I left...
This is the only decision I've ever wrestled with for so long.
Does that mean I made the wrong choice?
5 comments:
the short answer is no.
You can only do what 'you' can do... and going to a situation where you are healthy and happy only makes you able to be more effective. Staying in a situation where you can't be the most effective teacher isn't good for anyone.
Dear Julie,
My name is Jill Randolph and I work with CityTownInfo.com, a website providing over 50,000 reference pages of real-world information on careers, communities, and colleges to our 10 million annual visitors.
I was reviewing your blog and wanted to let you know that we have just released a free 64-page e-book we think you and your visitors may find interesting. Our e-book provides a candid, real-world perspective on the elementary teaching profession via interviews with 25 teachers from grades 1 through 5, across a variety of disciplines including reading specialists, PE, and music teachers, to name a few. The book offers advice, tips, best and worst parts of the job, as well as words of wisdom, inspiration and caution from working teachers. One quote from the book:
"Many people think that because the school day ends at 3 PM teachers just leave, but, the truth is, we stay late and often put in more than an eight-hour day. Almost always we take work home with us. Yes, we do have summers off, but we are constantly thinking about the school year to come and working on our skills."
Yours is one of the very first blogs we are reaching out to, so that you may share this relevant information with your visitors. We hope you’ll take a bit of time to review the book – it’s a fairly quick read – and then consider passing along your thoughts to your readers. We can provide you with cover art images in various sizes if you would like and we recommend linking to the page containing the eBook (http://www.citytowninfo.com/employment/elementary-school-teachers).
Thank you for your time and consideration. If I can answer any questions you may have, please don't hesitate to contact me.
Sincerely,
Jill Randolph
jrandolph@citytowninfo.com
CityTownInfo.com
Hello!
Given the looming shortage of teachers, we put together a positive article for prospective teachers as well as those currently employed as teachers called: “100 Reasons To Be A Teacher.”
If you wouldn’t mind, could you share our article with your readers?
Please feel free to contact me at wndgrahamATgmailDOTcom if you are interested.
Many thanks!
Wendy Graham
Are you still with TFA? I was thinking about applying with them and came across your blog.
Hi,
I've been reading your blog since I found out I'd be teaching a 2nd grade sped class a week before school started. I am a '07 NYC corps member and your blog got me through a lot of rough days, especially the first few months. Thank you.
I left teaching at the end of the two years, after having my kids for 2nd and 3rd grade. Like you, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about them. I miss them dearly. While I know taking a break from teaching was the right choice for me, I don't know what to do with how much I miss them.
So I guess I just wanted to say thank you, and I absolutely understand what you're saying.
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