Finding my Place

In sessions that are meant for classroom teachers.
And when I ask about my role, often times they'll say....oh yeah....ask so and so.
And so I continue to lesson plan as if I would have my own classroom. This would be so useful if I was a classroom teacher....but I'm not....and I'm left feeling a little overwhelmed and having so many what exactly am I going to be doing questions.
Change always brings apprehension....and so I fill my days with happy hours and dinners with friends and classes at our new gym and picking music for our wedding.
And sometimes it feels like there's no room to breathe except in the 5:45 am space where the rest of the world is still asleep and I tip toe out of bed so quietly that neither the Boy or the dogs wake.